Last Updated on October 13, 2024 by Kari
This book was the most relatable and emotion-producing book I’ve ever read. I’m not sure if it’s her writing, her words, or just because I recently lost my dad and mourning is heavy on my heart. Whatever it is, I’m Not A Mourning Person by Kris Carar was a cathartic book for me.
I’m Not A Mourning Person Was Relatable
I listened to it on my walks in the morning, in the dark, and balled my eyes out for about 70% of the book. I would come home dehydrated and need to drink way more water than normal.
I didn’t bookmark a lot in this book, because I would have been bookmarking everything. I was in constant agreement with Kris Carr. It’s like we’ve had many of the same experiences in life, except she has cancer and has dealt with that for over 20 years, which I find amazing. It’s a real testament to how all cancers are their own beasts and can grow in different ways and speeds or disappear for various reasons.
Kris Carr lost her stepfather, who she really viewed as her father, and the book is really based around that loss and the lessons learned from it.
Relatable with a capital R.
She also talks about the loss of her dog in the book, which is also relatable for me. We’ve lost 4 dogs in the recent years and it’s been one grief experience after another, with the most recent just a month and a half after the loss of my dad.
Some Things I Did Note In I’m Not A Mourning Person
In her experience with death, she tried to hold it all together as her dad went through the process of dying. She talks about not letting other people see you cry, and as I write this, I’m crying thinking about how many times I had to do that, including in front of my dad. The lengths we go to in order to hide our emotion from others and ourselves while something traumatic like that is going on is crazy.
Ask how instead of why. This is a great lesson from Kris Carr. ‘Why’ is something that keeps you stuck in a negative place and even in mourning, whereas ‘how’ helps you take action to feel better and get things done.
Our ancestors leave trauma in our body and we get to deal with that stuck trauma too. This is something I’ve read about before. The idea is that our experiences, especially those from our ancestors, can be passed down through our DNA and impact how we respond to certain situations. It’s important to acknowledge this and work on healing ourselves, not just for us but for future generations as well.
Two people can have different experiences to the same trauma. This is because everyone processes and deals with trauma differently. It’s important to remember that just because someone else may have had a similar experience, it doesn’t mean their feelings and reactions have to be the same as yours. We all have our own unique ways of coping and healing.
It’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes we try to handle everything on our own, but it’s important to remember that it’s okay to find support when we need it. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to a therapist or confiding in a trusted friend or family member, seeking help can be a crucial step in healing from trauma.
Self-care is vital in the healing process. Taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally is essential for recovery from trauma. This can include things like exercise, healthy eating, spending time in nature, practicing relaxation techniques, and engaging in activities we enjoy.
Lastly , there is such a thing as post traumatic growth.ย While experiencing trauma can be incredibly difficult, it can also lead to personal growth and transformation. This can come in the form of increased resilience, a deeper understanding of ourselves and our emotions, and a greater appreciation for life.
This Book Is A Tear Jerker
If you are mourning someone, including your pet, whether they are in the process of dying or have already passed on, this book is going to draw some tears from you. But it will also help you face all the aspects of dealing with death and mourning in a different, more positive, way.
It was a definite step towards healing for me. I’m grateful that I found Kris Carr and her book on mourning.
You can learn more about Kris Carr on her website here.
You can buy the book on Amazon here.
Note: I listed to her book on audio as part of the Hay House audiobook program.
