I had no intention of buying Becoming Flawesome. Even though I still like Mindvalley and the courses and teachers, Vishen Lakhiani has lost his luster with me. It likely has more to do with the affiliate program than anything, but still, I don’t really admire the guy anymore and so I wasn’t keen on listening to his ex-wife, Kristina Mand-Lakhiani. She was guilty by association. I guess my thought was that if I don’t respect him, then why would I listen to someone so close to him?
But, her audiobook popped up on the HayHouse App, and – mostly because it was included with my subscription and because I needed something to listen to at work – I decided to give it a try.
Turns out I like her.
There are some things that were a little annoying, like when she professed that she had an uncanny knack to make people cry with her profoundness. But for the most part, I related to her and enjoyed the Becoming Flawesome audiobook. She read it well and it had some good lessons in it.
I’ve actually listened to it twice.
The book is about living authentically. Figuring out who you are and being true to yourself.
One Thing I Remember About Kristina Mand-Lakhiani
I can’t remember what webinar it was. It was years ago. I don’t remember what topic it was on or who else was there, but it was through Mindvalley. The one thing I do remember is Kristina Mand-Lakhina saying that she wanted to reverse aging. And that reversing aging was something that she was really interested in.
As someone who had just reached the age where aging was starting to feel like aging, I related to that. I’ve thought about her saying that many times over the past few years as I’ve had so many changes happen to my body that have caused me to feel older.
That’s probably why one thing that resonated with me in Becoming Flawesome was her talking about going back in time. I’ve been wanting to go back to my early twenties – a carefree time when everything seemed easy and fun compared to now.
She also mentions aging (a few extra pounds and some lines by her eyes) in Becoming Flawesome but doesn’t outright say she wants to reverse aging. It seems over the years she’s accepted the small changes that have happened to her as she has accepted her authentic self.
Crocodile Tears – Something I’ve Done And Something I Related To
One thing I liked in Becoming Flawesome is the point on crocodile tears. Basically, to me, crocodile tears are overreacting or just acting in a way that is trying to manipulate the situation. Or showing insincere emotions that try to cause someone to feel bad for you or view you or a situation in a certain way.
For instance, pretending to cry and be super dramatic about something your spouse said or did when it doesn’t really affect you that much… you’re just trying to drive a point home that it hurt you and you’re not happy.
Or posting a ridiculous social media post just to pretend to be loving and positive when you are really angry.
Using tears and emotions to manipulate is something I recognize in other people and myself big time. And the lesson of not ever wanting to do it myself again has been taught to me repeatedly since I started working offline.
The biggest example? A girl I work with was upset at how I responded to something she said and she went directly to a manager with big tears and exclaimed that she had to go home and couldn’t work because I had upset her too much. I didn’t feel bad about my response because it was authentic. And I wasn’t angry with her for doing this. I saw it for what it was – manipulation. And it annoyed me more than anything and told me a lot about this girl’s character.
Even though I have recognized emotional manipulation in myself for a long time ago and don’t tend to use it often, it was a lesson I learned from work that drove the point home. I don’t want to be inauthentic like that. It’s not becoming of me and it doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I want to show my authentic emotions, not manipulate the situation.
Becoming Flawesome touches on that topic a lot and I enjoyed what Kirstina had to say. Reflecting on the lessons was a good reminder to be authentic in my interactions with my coworkers, my husband, and everyone else.
Kristina Talks Lifebook And A Goal That Came Out Of It
In Becoming Flawesome, Kristina talks about how she and Vishen went to a goal-setting workshop twelve years ago, which was obviously Lifebook. I still actively use Lifebook and the Lifebook Membership, so this point was interesting to me.
Kristina talks about how she had hundreds of goals lined up after day three and then how she had to pick one goal that would help conquer them all because it supports most of the other goals. And, interestingly, she talks about how they had to pick one goal that they would focus on for the next 30 days.
What goal would have the most impact on her? Developing the skill of awareness.
She set up reminders to practice awareness for 30 days, and she quickly was able to pause during the day and practice awareness. It helped her realize that she was making a lot of decisions without awareness. Her life was run by habits and subconscious patterns and she talks about how being aware can help you make a profound change and turn your life around.
As she talked about switching off autopilot, I enjoyed it. Listening to Kristina talk, I realized how important awareness is to be authentic.
Oh Right! Knowledge Doesn’t Change A Thing
One thing I needed to hear from Kristina’s Becoming Flawesome book was about transformation.
I’ve been stuck in a job I’m not enjoying. I started working there because we needed some extra money and I’ve felt stuck ever since, as if I’m never going to get back to who and where I was.
This is in part because I don’t have a lot of time to work on anything else. I’m working nights in a very physical job and I can barely do anything during the day, so it’s hard to take the action I need to take to make things happen.
But, being reminded that knowledge doesn’t change a thing was a good kick in the butt to make some changes. I know what I need to do, but knowing isn’t enough. I need to take action. I MUST take action! That means I need to change some things up in order to take action – or, in other words, take action on taking action.
Kristina talks about how transformation happens – knowledge plus experience. I enjoyed this lesson. Especially the part about how what doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger. It’s something I’ve never heard before and helped me to be grateful for the awareness and knowledge I’ve accumulated over the years and look forward to consistently acquiring knowledge so that my experiences help create positive transformation – not create bitterness or other negative emotions and habits that keep me stuck.
Becoming Flawesome Is A Good Book And Kristana Mand-Lakhiani Is Interesting
I think the book is good. I feel like I’ve been mostly authentic throughout my life, but I became really authentic in my late twenties. Throughout my early twenties, I used to sometimes pretend to be someone I wasn’t to be liked by my friends, family, and potential boyfriends, but there came a point where I actively decided to stop doing that. And I was proud of it.
That’s probably why I like this book. I admire authenticity in myself and in other people, so listening to Kristina’s stories and lessons was relatable and enjoyable to me.
If you’ve been feeling like a fraud in any way, you will like this book.
If you need a reminder of why being authentic is good, you will like this book.
And if you want to get out of the rut and start taking action in your life, you will like this book.
I listened to the book twice because I feel l wanted to hear what she had to say again. I never do that. Her stories and lessons felt good to me and I wanted to reflect on them more.
AND, I learned to not judge someone because they are associated with someone else you may not respect. Big lesson. It will impact my life and my authenticity going forward.
I Can’t Find Any Reviews Yet On Becoming Flawesome
I’m surprised there are no reviews of her Becoming Flawesome yet on Amazon (at least as of this review). I would have thought a lot of people would have read her book. But there’s none! And on Goodreads, the only review is someone asking where they can read a few chapters before they buy. That’s weird to me. It’s been out for about a month.
If you’ve read Becoming Flawesome, let me know what you thought of it in the comments below.